“Cut the crap!”

Qi Yuan took a deep breath, staring at the two smug faces before him. His expression was deadpan.

“Describe your mission details. Step by step. If I hear one more word of nonsense, I’m failing you both on the spot.”

“Uh…”

The threat worked instantly. The dynamic duo—Dumb and Dumber—shut their mouths, shivering like cicadas in winter. They immediately switched to obedient mode.

“It started like this,” Richie Zhang began. “Junior Sister Shang’s ninetieth birthday is coming up. I was thinking of preparing a surprise to, you know, deepen our emotional bond…”

Before he could finish, Lucky Li froze. He frantically tugged at Richie Zhang’s sleeve. “Wait, hold on! How do you know Junior Sister Shang’s birthday is coming up? Why didn’t anyone notify me?”

Richie Zhang shook off Li’s hand with a look of utter disdain. He tossed his head back arrogantly.

“Naturally, my relationship with Junior Sister Shang is on a completely different level than yours. You’re just the most annoying one in her army of simps. Why would she tell you about such a private, intimate matter?”

He scoffed. “I’d advise you to stay away from her. Look at your status, then look at hers. She’s way out of your league. I, on the other hand…”

Lucky Li wilted instantly. His face crumpled into a mask of tragic grief.

“I can’t believe it… She didn’t even tell me about her ninetieth birthday… Why? Am I just an outsider to her after all this time?”

As the two spiraled into their melodramatic soap opera, they suddenly felt a piercing, murderous gaze drill into their skulls. They shuddered in unison.

Richie Zhang swallowed hard and fast-forwarded the story.

“Anyway! I went to the Mission Hall to earn merit points for her gift. But this guy also had his eyes on the same mission. We argued, so we decided to duel. Winner takes the mission.”

“We fought for hundreds of rounds! The sky darkened, the earth shook, it was truly intense—”

“Stop!” Qi Yuan massaged his temples. “I don’t care about that. I asked what happened after you arrived in Reed River City. Get to the point!”

Qi Yuan was on the verge of snapping. If he had to listen to any more of their love triangle drama, he might just execute them himself.

“Uh…” Richie Zhang rubbed his nose awkwardly. “Right. Considering the mission required investigating the Wang Clan’s criminal activities, we decided to split up.”

“I played the bait: a foreign Qi Refining cultivator. I acted dumb, rich, and clueless to make the killer think I was an easy mark. The goal was to lure out the mastermind.”

“Junior Brother Li, meanwhile, infiltrated the Wang Clan as a guard. He was supposed to investigate from the inside and gather evidence.”

Finally, something resembling a plan.

Qi Yuan nodded slightly. As ridiculous as these two were, they were surprisingly competent when they actually focused on work.

But then, Richie Zhang’s expression twisted into pure rage. He glared at Lucky Li with hate-filled eyes.

“To investigate the missing cultivators, I played the fool for days! But I never—never—expected that the person who’d smack me over the head and bag me would be this clean-cut, trustworthy-looking traitor, Lucky Li!”

Huh?

Qi Yuan blinked, confused. He turned his gaze to Lucky Li.

“Actually, I didn’t want to do it…” Lucky Li rubbed his nose sheepishly, looking helpless. “I suppressed my cultivation to peak Qi Refining and got hired as a senior guard.”

“Since I’m naturally clever and charismatic, I got tight with the steward in just two days.”

“Then, the steward offered me a side gig. He said if I could kidnap a young, robust cultivator, I’d get two hundred spirit stones. The more I bagged, the more I’d earn…”

Kidnapping?!

Qi Yuan paused. Could it be…

“Screw you, Lucky Li!” Richie Zhang exploded before Qi Yuan could speak. “You told me it was a misunderstanding! You did it on purpose!”

“And seriously? I’m only worth two hundred spirit stones in your eyes?”

Richie Zhang dragged Lucky Li toward Qi Yuan, shouting, “Senior Brother, you be the judge! We’re from the same Holy Land, but this bastard knocked me out cold from behind! He tossed me into the Wang Clan’s dungeon!”

“When I woke up, there was this perverted old man staring at me with a look that made my skin crawl. I nearly peed myself! Tell me, isn’t this ‘harming a fellow disciple’?”

Lucky Li shrugged, feigning innocence.

“I, Lucky Li, am a disciple of a righteous sect. I would never kidnap an innocent person. But to maintain my deep cover in the Wang Clan, I had no choice. I could only let you suffer a temporary inconvenience.”

“Honestly, I thought it was some lonely lady in the Wang household looking for a strong man to warm her bed. Who knew the Wang Ancestor was such a freak? He was practicing an evil technique to extend his life by draining the blood essence of living people…”

What?

The missing cultivators were the Wang Clan’s doing?

Qi Yuan was stunned. That’s a hell of a coincidence.

Regaining his composure, he asked, “And then?”

Richie Zhang’s anger vanished, replaced by a smug grin as he recalled his heroic moment.

“The situation was critical, but I, Richie Zhang, would never shame the Holy Land. That old pervert was crazy, but he was only in the early Golden Core stage.”

“I beat him into the ground with three punches and two kicks! I taught him a valuable lesson: Evil can never defeat Good!”

Thud.

He pulled a round object from his storage ring and tossed it onto the floor.

“See? I wasn’t lying. That old bastard is the Wang Clan’s Ancestor, Wang Tiande.”

Qi Yuan looked down.

It was a severed head. White hair, withered skin like dead bark, and eyes wide open in frozen terror. The expression captured the man’s final moments—shock, fear, and unwillingness to die.

Heaven’s net is wide, and let’s nothing through.

It seemed the Wang Clan had finally met their retribution.

Qi Yuan nodded slowly. He waved his hand, collecting Wang Tiande’s head into his own storage bag.

“How did you handle the rest of the Wang Clan?” he asked, his voice low.

Richie Zhang’s grin turned into a cold sneer. A palpable killing intent rose from him.

“Wang Tiande slaughtered hundreds of innocent cultivators to extend his worthless life. His crimes were heinous.”

“According to the Holy Land’s rules, those who practice evil arts are to be eradicated root and branch. No mercy.”

“We screened them carefully. The Clan Head and every member who knew about the harvesting operation were executed via collective punishment. They’ve all gone down to hell to serve their Ancestor.”

“As for the ignorant clan members… they were spared the death penalty. However, they are no longer fit to be cultivators.”

Richie Zhang’s eyes hardened.

“We extracted the Spirit Roots and destroyed the Dantians of everyone with cultivation aptitude. We cut the weeds and dug up the roots. There will be no future trouble.”