Who Let Him Cultivate?

Who Let Him Cultivate?

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Synopsis

Lu Yang just wanted to be a badass sword immortal. Instead, his master made him bench-press water vats, fight with indestructible fried dough sticks, and practice deadly swordplay by carving raw tofu.

Transmigrating into the world’s most powerful—and objectively most unhinged—immortal sect, Lu Yang quickly realizes that traditional cultivation rules don’t apply to him. Armed with a mutated Sword Spirit Root, a tactical parachute (because he’s terrified of flying swords), and a group of equally eccentric friends, he completely derails every Xianxia trope in existence.

From poisoning skin-stealing ghosts with foot fungus to opening a wildly successful late-night BBQ shop just to spy on a demonic cult, Lu Yang proves one thing: giving a modern mind magical powers was a terrible mistake.

A hilarious, action-packed comedy that redefines the cultivation world!

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Chapter 14: Senior Sister Is Right

Ninety-nine percent of cultivators in the world languished in the Qi Refining stage. Thus, it was customary to meticulously slice this foundational realm into nine distinct layers, reserving the broader “early, middle, and late” classifications for the exalted realms that followed.

The Dao Seeking Sect, however, operated on a different wavelength. To them, Qi Refining was merely the threshold of entry. Why bother subdividing a doormat?

In the Dao Seeking Sect, Qi Refining was simply Qi Refining. There were no minor levels.

“Did the other disciples draw Spiritual Qi into their bodies this way?” Lu Yang asked, genuinely curious. If everyone cultivated like this, why was his progress moving at a glacial pace?

Yun Zhi shook her head. “What you experienced is the primordial method of the ancient ancestors. They resonated with nature, achieved a seamless unity between heaven and man, and commanded the Spiritual Qi to flood their vessels, ascending to the path of cultivation in a single bound.”

The initial path of cultivation naturally lacked the hand-holding of seniors. There were no secret manuals or graded techniques. There was only raw comprehension and the brutal crucible of physical trial and error.

“As for your meridians, the medicinal bath forcibly unsealed them. The Spiritual Qi met no resistance,” Yun Zhi explained. “In your state of absolute unity, the Qi carved its own path through your body, guided purely by instinct. That bespoke circulation route is infinitely superior to any graded manual.”

The cultivation world loved to categorize techniques into five rigid grades: Yellow, Mysterious, Earth, Heaven, and Immortal. However, in Yun Zhi’s eyes, there were only two types of techniques—those that suited you, and those that did not.

“No cultivation technique was specifically designed for you at its inception. There are countless manuals tailored for a Sword Spirit Root. I have a trunk full of them right here, but none of them suit you.”

“From this day forth, you have a long-term mandate: forge your own cultivation technique.”

When Yun Zhi commanded him to create a technique, she naturally didn’t expect Lu Yang to stumble in the dark alone; she would guide him. But even with a master’s oversight, the sheer absurdity of the task was staggering.

Creating cultivation techniques was the exclusive domain of the venerated, white-haired sages of the cultivation world.

The corner of Lu Yang’s mouth twitched. “Eldest Senior Sister, the venerated masters who forge techniques stand at the absolute apex of the world. They possess a god’s-eye view of the Great Dao and a flawless understanding of every realm. That is what gives them the right to create. For a junior like me, who just learned how to breathe Spiritual Qi, to invent a technique is a bit…”

Yun Zhi cut off his complaints. “Creating a cultivation technique is not as difficult as you imagine.”

“Are you aware of the Dao Seeking Sect’s mandate? After reaching Foundation Establishment, every disciple must complete tasks issued by the Mission Hall to fulfill their righteous duties.”

Lu Yang nodded. He had heard of this.

Other sects employed similar mechanisms, requiring disciples to complete tasks to prove they weren’t just leeching resources. Contributing to the sect demonstrated a disciple’s value.

But the Five Great Immortal Sects were different. They demanded their disciples undertake missions not to enrich the sect, but to contribute to the righteous path itself. That they were the vanguard of the righteous path was no empty slogan.

“Ordinary tasks require descending the mountain—slaying Demon Beasts, exorcising wraiths, chanting sutras for the dead, and so on,” Yun Zhi said. “I find the aura of the mortal dust grating. So, I opted for an alternative method to fulfill my quota.”

“Which is?”

“The Mission Hall offers a perpetual bounty: submitting a backup copy of a cultivation technique previously unrecorded by the Dao Seeking Sect counts as a completed mission.”

Lu Yang had a sudden, bold thought that bordered on the blasphemous. “Then, Senior Sister, you didn’t…”

“To cope with the quotas… I mean, to complete the tasks, I fabricated dozens of cultivation techniques myself and claimed I unearthed them in ancient ruins and pocket realms.”

“Unfortunately, the ruse was eventually exposed.”

“How were you exposed?” Lu Yang pressed, morbidly fascinated.

“The Mission Hall parrot cross-referenced my reports. I had systematically claimed every known ruin and pocket realm in existence. I simply ran out of ancient domains to fabricate.”

“So you see, creating cultivation techniques is not difficult at all.”

Yun Zhi spoke from personal experience. Her logic was airtight, her tone utterly convincing.

Lu Yang opened his mouth. He desperately wanted to say, *Senior Sister, I thought you were an honest woman, I didn’t expect you to commit academic fraud.* He wanted to say, *Senior Sister, your terrifying intellect is beyond mortal comprehension.* He wanted to say, *When you do it, it’s called ‘creating a technique.’ If I do it, it’s called ‘writing gibberish.’*

But as Lu Yang met Yun Zhi’s cold, god-like gaze, a thousand words condensed into a single, solemn sentence.

“Senior Sister is right.”

“Although you have stepped onto the path, you are still far from being a qualified sword cultivator. Take this book.”

His Eldest Senior Sister handed over an ancient tome bound in the thick, heavy hide of some unknown Demon Beast.

“*Records of the Demon Domain*?” Lu Yang murmured, flipping open the heavy cover.

Instantly, a suffocating, blood-soaked aura billowed from the parchment. The grotesque visages of Demon Beasts seemed to claw at the margins, their phantom roars echoing directly in his mind.

This ancient book was an absolutely priceless artifact!

Lu Yang’s mind raced. *A sword cultivator needs sword intent. I am only at the Qi Refining stage; how can I possibly cultivate sword intent?*

He recalled the legends. Ancient sword cultivators forged their first wisp of sword intent in the brutal crucible of life-and-death slaughter, staring down the ferocious malice of Demon Beasts.

The answer was obvious! He needed to visualize the terrifying forms of these Demon Beasts, distill their murderous essence, discard the dross, and condense the ferocity of ten thousand monsters into a single point to forge his own peerless sword intent!

Though the path would be agonizing, it was the perfect crucible for his Sword Spirit Root. It also spoke volumes of his Eldest Senior Sister’s profound expectations for him.

“I understand completely,” Lu Yang nodded, his eyes burning with resolve.

Yun Zhi gave him a blank look, completely unaware of whatever grand, epic delusion he had just concocted in his head. She waved her hand.

A wooden puppet trundled forward, dragging another massive cart of tofu.

“It is good that you understand.”

“To become a sword cultivator, you must master the word ‘precision.’ Take this Qingfeng Sword. Your next trial is to use the very tip of the blade to carve this tofu into the exact likenesses of the Demon Beasts. Their anatomical structures are all detailed in the book.”

Yun Zhi reached into her storage space and drew a magnificent blade that radiated a biting, frosty light. The characters for “Qingfeng” were elegantly engraved upon its hilt.

Lu Yang: “…”

Tofu again?

Was his nightmare actually a divine premonition? Was he destined to echo through the annals of history as the Tofu Heavenly Venerable?

*Damn it, banish the thought.*

Lu Yang violently shook the terrifying prophecy from his mind and accepted the Qingfeng Sword. His first impression was that the blade felt incredibly light.

In reality, the Qingfeng Sword was anything but light. It was fundamentally unusable for cultivators in the first three layers of Qi Refining; the sheer weight of the metal would snap their wrists.

But Lu Yang was an anomaly. Having endured the hellish water vat training, his physical strength had reached a threshold he couldn’t even quantify. To put it bluntly, without a shred of technique, a casual punch from him could currently blow a hole straight through the chest of an ordinary third-layer Qi Refining cultivator.

Perhaps it was the awakening of his Sword Spirit Root, or perhaps it was the terrifying muscular control he had developed from treating massive vats of water like feathers, but Lu Yang wielded the heavy Qingfeng Sword with surgical grace.

In just over ten days, Lu Yang managed to master the structural integrity of the curd. With terrifying molecular precision, he carved the fragile blocks into roaring Demon Beasts, pristine statues of himself and his Senior Sister, and even a flawless topographical replica of the Dao Seeking Sect’s nine lotus-shaped peaks.

Having already mastered the art of folk juggling, Lu Yang had now acquired a second mundane trade. If cultivation didn’t work out, he could easily become a master culinary sculptor in a mortal kitchen.

He had to master it quickly. If he ruined any more blocks, he was going to vomit from eating the leftover tofu.

Upon completing this grueling phase, his Eldest Senior Sister materialized. After offering a few sparse words of encouragement, she pinched a single, microscopic white sesame seed between her fingers.

“A sword cultivator must also possess peerless ocular prowess. I will now toss this sesame seed into that mountain of pulverized tofu dregs. You must locate it in the shortest time possible.”

Lu Yang dropped to his knees with a heavy thud. “Senior Sister, I beg you, let us find another way!”

Yun Zhi stared down at the groveling Lu Yang, her dark eyes resembling a placid, unfathomable abyss.

“Oh.”

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Karu

Lol intagliatore di tofu.. Ahah sembra interessante hihi

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