Who Let Him Cultivate?

Who Let Him Cultivate?

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Synopsis

Lu Yang just wanted to be a badass sword immortal. Instead, his master made him bench-press water vats, fight with indestructible fried dough sticks, and practice deadly swordplay by carving raw tofu.

Transmigrating into the world’s most powerful—and objectively most unhinged—immortal sect, Lu Yang quickly realizes that traditional cultivation rules don’t apply to him. Armed with a mutated Sword Spirit Root, a tactical parachute (because he’s terrified of flying swords), and a group of equally eccentric friends, he completely derails every Xianxia trope in existence.

From poisoning skin-stealing ghosts with foot fungus to opening a wildly successful late-night BBQ shop just to spy on a demonic cult, Lu Yang proves one thing: giving a modern mind magical powers was a terrible mistake.

A hilarious, action-packed comedy that redefines the cultivation world!

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Chapter 9: Central Continent

“Do I need to pay for the damages?” Lu Yang asked, his voice tight with anxiety. The most valuable asset he possessed was likely his own brain.

“Damages?” The Senior Brother glanced at the ruined tome in his hand, then back at Lu Yang. A violent twitch seized the corner of his eye.

Sect regulations strictly mandated compensation in Spirit Stones for damaged texts. The problem, however, was the apocalyptic fallout if word of this specific book ever leaked. It would only be a matter of time before the Dragon and Phoenix races forged a blood pact, slaughtering their way from the Demon Domain, across the Central Continent, and straight up the steps of the Dao Seeking Sect.

Not that the Dao Seeking Sect actually *feared* the Dragon and Phoenix races—dragon liver and phoenix marrow were renowned delicacies, potent in nourishing yin and supplementing yang. But they were, at the end of the day, a pillar of the orthodox path. Harboring a forbidden, inter-species smut peddler like *Dragon and Phoenix Transformation* in their sacred Scripture Pavilion would irreparably stain their pristine reputation.

Weighing these geopolitical consequences, the Senior Brother smoothly slid the book up his sleeve. His expression smoothed into a mask of absolute serenity.

“Damages? What book did you soil? I saw no such thing.”

Destroying a text within the Scripture Pavilion was far too conspicuous; the ambient Formations would instantly trigger. It was far safer to smuggle it outside for “disposal.”

Lu Yang’s sharp mind instantly connected the dots—the Senior Brother was absolutely keeping it for his private collection.

Therefore, nothing had happened.

The two men locked eyes. The corners of their mouths twitched upward in perfect, silent solidarity.

The forbidden tome was merely a minor interlude. Lu Yang hadn’t lost sight of his true objective. After scouring the towering shelves, he finally unearthed a heavy, leather-bound volume detailing the world at large: *Continental Geography*.

Rubbing his hands together in anticipation, Lu Yang cracked the spine and immersed himself in the text.

*The world is shared among humans, demons, phantoms, and myriad other races. The Central Continent serves as the cradle of humanity. Its absolute sovereign power is the Great Xia Dynasty—the sole empire upon the continent, anchoring the Providence of the human race and representing its orthodox lineage.*

*So,* Lu Yang mused, *even though my hometown sits in the shadow of the Dao Seeking Sect, it technically falls under the jurisdiction of the Great Xia Dynasty.*

*To the east of the continent lies a boundless, churning ocean dotted with scattered archipelagos. Ancient, world-shattering Demon Beasts like the Kun Peng and the Hundun are known to breach its depths.*

*To the west stretches the golden Buddhist kingdom, an immeasurable Pure Land where temples outnumber the grains of sand.*

*To the south festers the Demon Domain. The Dragon and Phoenix races reign as its supreme overlords. The demon race is inherently cruel and bloodthirsty, resulting in endless, grinding friction with the Great Xia Dynasty. Furthermore, shape-shifting demons lurk within the Dynasty’s borders, a constant plague upon humanity.*

*To the north lies the extreme frozen wastes. The ice there has not thawed since antiquity. Not a single blade of grass can take root, and human footprints are virtually nonexistent. Only the most terrifyingly resilient of species can endure its lethal cold.*

*The Central Continent boasts the highest concentration of both mortals and Cultivators. While some Cultivators integrate into the mortal courts as officials, the vast majority choose to establish their own lineages or pledge themselves to a Sect. Sects blanket the Central Continent like stars in the night sky. Standing at the absolute zenith are the five great immortal Sects—with the Dao Seeking Sect among them—acting as the undisputed vanguard of the righteous path.*

*The text dictates that to qualify as one of the five great immortal Sects, an organization must possess at least one Tribulation Transcendence stage almighty, or wield a trump card capable of rivaling such apocalyptic power…* Lu Yang blinked. *Does that mean our Sect Leader is a Tribulation Transcendence almighty? Or perhaps the Dao Seeking Sect hides an ancient, reclusive Supreme Elder?*

The realization that he had successfully apprenticed under a Sect Leader who might possess world-ending power sent a thrill of pure adrenaline through his veins. He stood up, poured himself a cup of water, and forced himself to swallow the liquid to quell his racing heart before settling back down to read.

*Demonic path Cultivators are parasites upon the world, harvesting the lives of the innocent to fuel their own cultivation. The devastation they wreak eclipses even that of the demon race. Ultimately, they are rats scurrying in the dark. Crushed beneath the combined might of the Great Xia Dynasty and the five great immortal Sects, these demonic factions dare only to operate in the deepest shadows.*

Beyond the demonic path, the text vaguely alluded to entities known as “Evil Demons.” The descriptions were frustratingly cryptic: *Born devoid of emotion, the shadow of humanity, defying all common sense. Should you encounter one, flee.* It all sounded incredibly esoteric, leaving Lu Yang with no real understanding of what an Evil Demon actually was.

*Mortals trade in gold, silver, and copper. Cultivators deal exclusively in high, medium, and low-grade Spirit Stones.*

For the next several hours, Lu Yang absorbed the foundational logic of the Cultivation world. He memorized the strict demarcations of cultivation realms, the sprawling disciplines of the Hundred Arts of Cultivation, the taxonomy of Demon Beasts, the hierarchy of cultivation techniques, and the blood-soaked history of the Central Continent.

The fragmented folklore he had gleaned from teahouse storytellers was woefully insufficient to keep him alive in this ruthless new reality.

Entranced by the profound mysteries unfolding across the parchment, Lu Yang lost himself in the ocean of knowledge. It wasn’t until the sun dipped below the horizon and a hollow ache gnawed at his stomach that he remembered he hadn’t eaten a single bite all day.

By the time he emerged, the attendant at the Scripture Pavilion’s entrance had swapped from the stoic Senior Brother to a timid Senior Sister.

Lu Yang approached her with a respectful bow. “Senior Sister, apologies for the intrusion. I just arrived yesterday and am still unfamiliar with the Dao Seeking Sect’s layout. Is there a dining hall on the premises?”

The Senior Sister flinched as if struck, her shoulders trembling slightly as her gaze darted everywhere but his face. She was clearly terrified of social interaction.

Given that most disciples adhered to the Scripture Pavilion’s strict silence without needing reminders, her extreme introversion made this the perfect post for her.

Keeping her chin tucked firmly to her chest, she murmured in a voice barely louder than a whisper, “So it is a new Junior Brother… The Dao Seeking Sect does possess a cafeteria. However, speaking from harrowing personal experience, your Senior Sister strongly advises against dining there.”

Lu Yang blinked, bewildered. “Why is that? Is there a problem with the facilities?”

“It is located on the Fifth Elder’s peak… Hundred Forges Peak.”

Lu Yang paused. The name hardly evoked images of culinary delight. “And this Hundred Forges Peak is…?”

“The Fifth Elder is a grandmaster of artifact forging. Naturally, Hundred Forges Peak is the industrial heart of our Sect’s smithing operations. The cafeteria was built there, and the chefs… well, the chefs are all first-rate artifact forgers. Their steamed buns possess the structural density to pierce mountain ranges. Their rice grains are deployed as lethal hidden weapons. And their fried dough sticks can shatter steel and pulverize iron bones.”

A tidal wave of absurd retorts swelled in Lu Yang’s throat, but he couldn’t decide which thread of insanity to pull first. “…Why are artifact forgers working as chefs?”

The Senior Sister offered a weak, trembling explanation. “Think about it, Junior Brother. The soul of culinary arts is heat control. And who possesses more absolute, molecular precision over fire than an artifact forger? The synergy between the two disciplines is far closer than you might imagine.”

Lu Yang nodded with deadpan sincerity. “Indeed. Far closer than I imagined.”

The Senior Sister cast a fleeting glance at Lu Yang’s threadbare clothes and hesitated. “Furthermore, purchasing weapons—I mean, buying meals at the cafeteria—requires Spirit Stones. And Junior Brother, you appear… somewhat lacking in funds.”

Even the most impoverished Cultivator typically wore garments woven from basic spiritual materials like heavenly silk, rendering them highly resistant to water and fire. Lu Yang’s attire, however, was aggressively mundane. His tunic was held together by an uncountable number of crude patches. A single glance was enough to broadcast his mortal origins.

Lu Yang offered a self-deprecating smile. He didn’t possess a single Spirit Stone to his name.

“There is no need for embarrassment. The Dao Seeking Sect harbors many disciples of mortal birth. I am one of them,” she comforted him softly. “If you need sustenance, um… you could visit Pill Cauldron Peak. They frequently dispose of defective Inedia Pills. You might be able to request a few.”

“Pill Cauldron Peak maintains terrifyingly high standards for their concoctions. What they classify as ‘defective’ simply means the purity isn’t absolute. You needn’t worry about lethal toxicity.”

“However, while on Pill Cauldron Peak, you must exercise extreme caution around the Peak Master, the Seventh Elder. Also, beware of Senior Brother Wu Ming, Senior Brother Wenda, Senior Sister Qingkong, and Junior Brother Longyan… Actually, just be careful of absolutely everyone.”

Forcing down the mounting sense of dread, Lu Yang cupped his fists in gratitude. “I am Lu Yang. Thank you for your guidance, Senior Sister. May I ask your name?”

“My name is Zhou Lulu.”

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Karu

Una waifu dolce, carina e riservata?

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