Who Let Him Cultivate？

Chapter 56: As Subordinates, We Must Strictly Execute the Boss’s Orders

It was an undeniable truth of the world: the ancestral culinary art of the barbarian tribes was, at its core, the barbecue.

Flames of pure, unadulterated fighting spirit ignited within Man Gu’s pupils. He stood before the grill like a grandmaster defending his sect’s honor.

Lu Yang stared at him, deadpan.

Why are you igniting your fighting spirit over street food? We are here to infiltrate a demonic cult, not launch a culinary franchise for your family!

A heavy sigh escaped Lu Yang’s lips. If Man Gu refused to compromise on product quality, their only defense against market saturation was aggressive price gouging.

“Two esteemed guests, what kind of liquor will you be having?” Lu Yang asked the next men in line.

The two wandering martial artists puffed out their chests, radiating the bold arrogance of the pugilistic world. “The stronger, the better!” one bellowed. “In the martial world, they call me ‘A Thousand Cups Without Getting Drunk’!”

His companion slammed a hand on the table. “And they call me ‘Ten Thousand Cups Without Falling’!”

Lu Yang’s eye twitched. Keep bragging. If I brought out two jugs of pure medical ethanol, would you still be standing?

Opting for a slightly less lethal approach, Lu Yang served them two pots of the strongest Lao Baigan liquor they had, silently praying their livers were as resilient as their boasts.

Stepping back to the entrance, Lu Yang took on the role of a weary bouncer, shouting over the clamoring crowd. “Take a number and queue up! No cutting in line! We’ve prepared free tea and snacks to optimize customer retention, so please wait patiently. A table will open up soon!”

He paused, then added his best anti-marketing pitch. “Furthermore, introducing new customers to our establishment yields absolutely zero discounts! Stop bringing your friends here!”

Lu Yang had no idea if this reverse-psychology branding would work, but he had to try. They absolutely could not afford to accidentally open a chain store.

Unfortunately, the queuing crowd was restless, and their demands only grew more sophisticated.

“Can we make a reservation in advance?”

“Do you offer delivery to the inner city?”

“Can I book the entire venue for a private event?”

Lu Yang rubbed his temples. The line wasn’t just filled with wandering swordsmen anymore; wealthy, influential Cultivators had joined the fray, waving silver around like it was worthless.

“Reservations are accepted,” Lu Yang announced, slipping seamlessly into corporate speak. “We can provide delivery within a three-mile radius, subject to an exorbitant service fee. Private venue bookings are highly encouraged.”

He desperately hoped someone would just buy out the whole shop so he could finally catch his breath.

Suddenly, a voice transmission echoed in the minds of both Lu Yang and Man Gu.

“Attention. Qin Yuanhao has left the residence.”

Hearing Meng Jingzhou’s voice, Lu Yang felt a profound, overwhelming sense of relief.

“I’ll track him,” Lu Yang whispered back. “Come down and take my place. And Man Gu, keep an eye on Meng Jingzhou. Don’t let him cause a scene.”

Having mastered the earth-manipulation spells Shrinking the Earth and Achieving Inches, Lu Yang held a massive tactical advantage in both combat and stealth tracking. However, he couldn’t exactly sink into the pavement in front of a line of hungry customers.

He slipped into the backyard.

Here, the operation’s dark secret was hard at work: two Changui.

The ghostly thralls were trapped in a high-speed culinary sweatshop. Ectoplasmic sweat beaded on their translucent foreheads as they flipped skewers with such frantic speed their arms blurred into afterimages. They looked as though they were praying to sprout six extra arms just to keep up with the orders.

They were definitely working harder in death than they ever had in life.

As a precaution, the two Changui were dressed in the garments of traveling merchants. To prevent any drunken patrons from stumbling into the back and noticing the ghosts were wearing burial shrouds, the trio had spent hours researching how to change a spirit’s wardrobe.

They had tried everything. Taoist rituals. Buddhist sutra chanting. Flipping through ancient texts and verifying obscure legends. By the end of the grueling process, the two Changui had nearly been exorcised out of existence.

Fortunately, Lu Yang had eventually stumbled upon the most practical, low-tech solution imaginable: just burn the clothes as an offering to them.

The two ghosts were so consumed by their endless grilling that they didn’t even notice Lu Yang’s arrival. With a subtle shift of spiritual energy, Lu Yang smoothly melted into the soil, vanishing from sight to tail Qin Yuanhao.

Moments later, Meng Jingzhou burst into the shop, having rapidly changed into a waiter’s outfit. He took Lu Yang’s place at the front, striking a theatrical pose as he served a platter of meat.

“Lamb kebabs, fresh off the fire!” Meng Jingzhou announced, his voice booming with arrogant flair. “Enjoy your meal, good sirs! But speak of these kebabs, and you speak of a legend. Gather round and listen closely! It is said that on a fateful day, a brilliant golden light bloomed across the northern grasslands, and a child was born…”

***

Elsewhere, Qin Yuanhao moved through the shadows. His figure seemed to bleed into the night itself, rendering him entirely invisible to the late-night pedestrians he brushed past.

A Cultivation method tied to shadows, or perhaps the concept of darkness itself? Lu Yang mused from his subterranean vantage point, carefully cataloging the intelligence.

In his quest to forge his own unique Cultivation path, Lu Yang had devoured countless texts, giving him a solid theoretical grasp on a vast array of techniques. He kept his distance, tracking the subtle vibrations of Qin Yuanhao’s footsteps.

Above ground, Qin Yuanhao turned down a muddy path, navigating a labyrinth of winding, narrow alleys. The stench of rotting garbage and sour waste was so pungent that it seeped through the soil, assaulting Lu Yang’s nose even underground.

The rapid, heavy thud of Qin Yuanhao’s boots signaled a foul mood.

Disgust twisting his gloomy features, Qin Yuanhao stopped before a dilapidated shack. He kicked the door off its hinges with a splintering crash, startling the subordinate sleeping soundly inside.

“You still have the nerve to sleep?!” Qin Yuanhao roared.

The subordinate scrambled out of bed, trembling like a leaf in a hurricane. He had no idea why his boss was furious. They had been working diligently, never daring to slack off. Was it a crime to sleep at night after a grueling day of legwork?

If anything, the boss was the lazy one—sleeping all day and prowling all night. Their circadian rhythms were far healthier than his.

Qin Yuanhao didn’t care about circadian rhythms. He planted a boot into the subordinate’s chest, kicking him hard against the cracked wall.

“Why hasn’t anyone reported to me for the past few days?!” Qin Yuanhao demanded. “Where is the person I told you to find?!”

The subordinate gasped, feeling as though a sledgehammer had caved in his ribs. “Boss!” he cried out, utterly aggrieved. “It was you who said, ‘If you can’t find the person, don’t bother coming to see me!'”

He rubbed his chest, tears welling in his eyes. “We couldn’t find the target, so we didn’t dare show our faces. How is it a crime to follow your exact orders?”

The subordinate felt profoundly wronged. He did exactly what he was told. The boss was simply impossible to please.

Qin Yuanhao froze.

A vein throbbed in his temple. The infuriating part was that the subordinate’s logic was entirely sound. Yet, the overwhelming urge to murder the man remained.

“If you couldn’t come see me, couldn’t you have written a damn letter?!” Qin Yuanhao bellowed.

“But you also said that all important matters must be reported in person!”

“Didn’t I also say that special circumstances require special treatment?!”

“You did say that,” the subordinate agreed quickly. “But you also said that what constitutes a ‘special circumstance’ must be discussed internally by the team, and the final verdict must be decided by you personally.”

Qin Yuanhao’s eye twitched. “Then did you discuss it?!”

“We did! Two days ago! We took a vote and unanimously agreed that this was a special circumstance requiring your final decision.”

“Then why didn’t you come ask for my decision?!”

“Because you said important matters must be reported in person, but since we couldn’t find the rumor-monger, we weren’t allowed to come see you!”

Qin Yuanhao:

Am I going to die in a bureaucratic paradox of my own making?

Qin Yuanhao took two deep, shuddering breaths. Do not kill him. Do not kill him.

As brain-dead and inflexible as these subordinates were, they were fanatically loyal. They executed his orders to the letter, without a single deviation. Executing one for following instructions too perfectly would chill the blood of the rest of his men.

Besides, trustworthy henchmen were hard to come by. If he killed this idiot, he’d be short-staffed.

“Fine,” Qin Yuanhao hissed through gritted teeth. “How is the search going? Even if you haven’t found the man, you must have some clues. Right?”

He glared at the subordinate with murderous intent. If this fool dared to say they had found absolutely nothing, loyalty be damned, he was leaving this shack in a body bag.

The subordinate swallowed hard, initially muttering a soft “no,” but the sheer killing intent radiating from his boss made him pivot frantically.

“Boss, you know how distinctive the target is!” the subordinate babbled. “If a guy like that showed his face on the street, he’d cause a riot! It’s been four days. The brothers have run until our feet are covered in blisters, but we haven’t found him.”

He held up a hand defensively. “Just take the physical description! ‘Eight feet tall and eight feet wide.’ We scoured the entire city and only found a single entity that matches those exact proportions! But… he doesn’t have pockmarks, he doesn’t eat children, and honestly, he looks quite friendly.”

“Who is it?” Qin Yuanhao demanded. He didn’t care if the face matched anymore. He just needed to publicly execute someone with the same build to make an example. He had to show whoever was hiding in the shadows that he was not to be trifled with.

The subordinate flinched. “It’s… it’s the mascot selling tofu on Qianmen Street.”

“I’m going to fucking kill you!”