The Oldest Disciple: Farming Intimacy to Become Immortal

The Oldest Disciple: Farming Intimacy to Become Immortal

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Synopsis

At 78 years old, with one foot in the grave and zero achievements, Li Meng awakens a System that turns intimacy into immortality.

He has no time for meditation. He has no talent for swordsmanship. But in the infamous Joyous Union Sect, he has the perfect cheat code.

[Ding! System Activated.] [Core Mechanic: Convert physical contact with female cultivators into EXP.]

Holding Hands: +10 EXP.

A Passionate Kiss: +100 EXP.

Dual Cultivation (Going all the way): LEVEL UP!

Realizing his advantage, Li Meng discards his dignity to survive. He adopts the persona of a harmless, benevolent “Grandpa” figure to lower the guards of the sect’s beautiful yet dangerous women.

To the outside world, he is the kind-hearted “Wealth-Scattering Senior Brother.” In reality, he is a cunning old fox hunting for his next source of cultivation.

From the arrogant Senior Aunt to the innocent Junior Sister, Li Meng will help them solve their problems… in exchange for a night of “cultivation.”
Why read this?

Unique MC: An experienced, manipulative old man, not a naive teenager.

System Progression: Clear stats, alchemy mastery, and talisman crafting.

Harem Building: Gotta catch ’em all!

Weak to Strong: Defying death to stand at the apex.

Chapter 109 Fish Dragon Alley in Lijiang City

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Li Meng chuckled softly, his voice carrying a resonant, youthful vigor that belied his ancient soul. He cupped his hands in a polite return salute.

“It is settled then. Senior Brother, Senior Sister, please take care.”

Su Shan performed a single-handed seal. The high-grade flying skiff rose against the wind, humming with energy before streaking away into the distance.

“Senior Brother, are you not returning to the sect with us?” Hua Biying asked, her curiosity piqued as she watched the skiff disappear.

Li Meng turned his gaze toward Junior Sister Hua and Junior Brother Qian. He stroked his white beard—a habit that remained even though his face now possessed the smooth, unblemished complexion of a youth.

“This Senior Brother still has business in Lijiang City,” Li Meng explained with a sage-like calm. “Senior Brother Sun and Junior Sister Su were heavily injured; you two should escort them part of the way. Go on.”

Hua Biying pursed her lips, a knowing smile blossoming on her face.

So, he isn’t just passing through.

Lijiang City was a major metropolis in the State of Zhao, and Li Meng had gone out of his way to travel here. In Hua Biying’s mind, the conclusion was obvious: Senior Brother Li had come specifically for her.

Her heart fluttered with a sudden, inexplicable joy.

[+5 Affection] [+25 Sub-profession Experience]

Li Meng glanced at the beaming Junior Sister Hua. Her Affection score had already hit 95. She was tantalizingly close to the maximum value.

“Yes, Senior Brother!” Qian Wen cupped his hands respectfully. “Junior Sister, let us depart.”

Qian Wen glanced at her, then summoned his flying sword, soaring into the air.

Hua Biying lingered for a moment. She looked at Li Meng, her eyes shimmering with hidden meaning.

“Senior Brother,” she said softly, “when you return, this Junior Sister will come to find you.”

A trace of shyness flickered in her gaze, quickly replaced by a radiant, city-toppling smile. Unconsciously, her natural Charm Technique activated. An alluring, fox-like aura washed over Li Meng, laden with spiritual pheromones.

Li Meng felt his spirit shake. His gaze toward Junior Sister Hua naturally grew heated.

Satisfied with his reaction, Hua Biying giggled. Her figure, radiating ripe feminine charm, rose into the air. Like a celestial fairy chasing the moon, she flew away on her sword, leaving a faint trail of fragrance behind.

Li Meng squinted at the sky, stroking his beard as his expression returned to one of calculation.

“Excellent. Once Junior Sister Hua’s Affection reaches the maximum, my advancement to the Fourth Rank in my sub-profession will be within reach.”

His mood was exceptionally good. Although the System was a bit underhanded—tying his professional advancement to the romantic feelings of the opposite sex—it forced him to master the art of the heart.

Fortunately, I am a responsible man, he mused. Otherwise, with this power, I would inevitably become a scourge upon the cultivation world.

Li Meng summoned the wind. His body, now robust and brimming with Foundation Establishment power, soared straight up, ascending majestically to a height of a thousand meters before vanishing into the distant clouds.

Meanwhile, in the distant night sky.

A Sky Palanquin hovered silently above the cloud layer, bathed in moonlight.

The vessel was compact, roughly thirty feet long. On the central divan, a graceful figure in a purple palace dress reclined on her side, exuding an air of supreme languor.

Floating before the palanquin was a pitch-black banner. Dark mist churned violently within the fabric, and ghostly faces flickered in and out of existence, howling as they tried to break free from their confinement.

Ruoshui waved her slender, jade-like hand with casual indifference.

Boom!

A torrent of water-blue Mana poured forth like a crushing tsunami. The black banner was instantly torn to shreds by the violent surge of spiritual power. Countless Vengeful Spirits shrieked once before being annihilated into nothingness.

A flicker of boredom passed through Ruoshui’s eyes.

“The demonic cultivators of the State of Yue are as tedious as ever,” she murmured. “Old or young, they share the same virtue: at the slightest disagreement, they self-destruct.”

Ruoshui closed her eyes. Her vast Divine Sense expanded, locking onto a certain disciple who, for once, had found the correct direction and wasn’t lost.

State of Zhao. Lijiang City.

The Lijiang River traversed the entire length of the State of Zhao. The fertile plains flanking its banks constituted the nation’s most prosperous region.

There was another great river within the borders named the Chijiang. Lijiang City sat like a jewel at the confluence of these two mighty waterways. Relying on this convenient network of water transport, the city had exploded in growth. In just a thousand years, it had solidified its status as the second-largest city in the entire state.

Early morning.

The fog had barely lifted, but the docks were already alive with the clamor of labor.

Fish Dragon Alley, the district closest to the water, was bustling with noise. Women carried heavy wooden buckets to fetch water, while men hurried toward the piers—fishermen preparing their nets and laborers looking for the day’s work.

“Hey! Watch where you’re going, kid!”

A five-year-old boy, hopping and skipping blindly down the street, slammed headfirst into a burly man.

The man, a constable named Zhao Erhu, reacted with practiced speed. He caught the boy by the collar just before the child could tumble backward onto the cobblestones.

“Wah!”

The boy burst into tears. He wriggled free from Zhao Erhu’s grip and sprinted into a roadside courtyard.

Zhao Erhu rolled his eyes. Before he could take a step, a woman charged out of the house brandishing a broom.

“Zhao Erhu! You bear of a man!” the woman shrieked, planting herself in the doorway. “How old are you? Have you no shame, bullying a toddler? I’ll fight you to the death today!”

Zhao Erhu looked at the fierce woman. She was a head shorter than him, but her aura was that of a tiger defending its cub.

“You shrew,” Zhao Erhu grumbled, though without real heat. “Just because he’s small doesn’t mean he can be unreasonable. Your kid slammed into me and ran off. What did I do? Did he say I hit him?”

Zhao Erhu stood outside the gate, his physique astonishingly large, casting a shadow over the woman.

The woman’s anger deflated slightly. She gave an embarrassed, forced smile. “My kid didn’t say anything… I just assumed some ruffian was bullying my boy.”

Zhao Erhu swept a glance over the courtyard behind her. “Has your man not come back yet?”

At the mention of her husband, the woman’s eyes flashed with renewed fury.

“How are you lot doing your jobs? My husband has been missing for almost half a month with no news! Is he dead or alive? Give me a straight answer so I can remarry! If the man is gone, do you expect us mother and son to drink the northwest wind? Are you trying to starve us to death?”

A flash of helplessness passed through Zhao Erhu’s eyes. When this woman started ranting, logic went out the window.

“Who told your man to go to the West City? That isn’t my jurisdiction,” Zhao Erhu sighed. “Besides, the West City is strange right now. I heard a pestilence has broken out. No news is good news. If he came back now… well, you two might be finished.”

A flicker of genuine fear crossed the woman’s face. “It… it’s not that serious, is it?”

Zhao Erhu glared at her, his voice dropping to a grim whisper. ” haven’t you smelled the smoke?”

The woman nodded slowly. A charred, cloying scent had been lingering in the air for days.

“They’re burning corpses outside the city walls,” Zhao Erhu said bluntly. “You tell me if it’s serious.”

The woman shrank back, her neck retracting into her shoulders. “Oh heavens… my poor husband! My fate is so bitter!”

She collapsed onto the threshold, wailing loudly and slapping her thighs.

Zhao Erhu looked at the crying widow with a complete lack of strategy. He scratched his head.

“Stop crying. Wailing won’t bring him back. Wait a bit longer. If there’s no news in another half month, I’ll introduce you to a colleague of mine. Don’t worry, I won’t let you two starve. You’re… well, you’re not bad-looking. You won’t go hungry.”

The woman’s wailing stopped abruptly. She peeked at Zhao Erhu through her fingers, then lowered her hands.

A sudden, flirtatious light entered her eyes. She threw a shy, meaningful glance at the large man.

“Tiger… actually, I quite fancy you. How about you come into my house? I’ll take good care of you…”

Zhao Erhu’s face paled. He took a step back.

“No! I don’t have that kind of fortune. Don’t set your sights on me. I… I already have someone I like!”

Without waiting for a response, Zhao Erhu turned and power-walked away.

The woman chased him out the gate, shouting down the alley. “Tiger! Which girl is it? Sister-in-law will arrange a match for you!”

“No need!”

Zhao Erhu walked even faster, practically fleeing. He was a sturdy young man, true, but even if no girl liked him, he wasn’t desperate enough to become someone else’s father just yet.

👑 The story continues!

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