The Oldest Disciple: Farming Intimacy to Become Immortal

The Oldest Disciple: Farming Intimacy to Become Immortal

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Synopsis

At 78 years old, with one foot in the grave and zero achievements, Li Meng awakens a System that turns intimacy into immortality.

He has no time for meditation. He has no talent for swordsmanship. But in the infamous Joyous Union Sect, he has the perfect cheat code.

[Ding! System Activated.] [Core Mechanic: Convert physical contact with female cultivators into EXP.]

Holding Hands: +10 EXP.

A Passionate Kiss: +100 EXP.

Dual Cultivation (Going all the way): LEVEL UP!

Realizing his advantage, Li Meng discards his dignity to survive. He adopts the persona of a harmless, benevolent “Grandpa” figure to lower the guards of the sect’s beautiful yet dangerous women.

To the outside world, he is the kind-hearted “Wealth-Scattering Senior Brother.” In reality, he is a cunning old fox hunting for his next source of cultivation.

From the arrogant Senior Aunt to the innocent Junior Sister, Li Meng will help them solve their problems… in exchange for a night of “cultivation.”
Why read this?

Unique MC: An experienced, manipulative old man, not a naive teenager.

System Progression: Clear stats, alchemy mastery, and talisman crafting.

Harem Building: Gotta catch ’em all!

Weak to Strong: Defying death to stand at the apex.

Spread the love

Chapter 246: Interception on a Rainy Night

If he did nothing, it would be hard to explain to Prince Yan.

Li Meng glanced at the sharp-faced cultivator with the monkey-like features. He flicked his sleeve.

Swish.

The Five Elements Ring flew out, transforming into a streak of yellow spiritual light that vanished silently into the sodden earth.

In the next instant, the world trembled.

RUMBLE.

The ground around Li Meng churned and rolled like a boiling sea. Mud and stone defied gravity, knitting together in a grotesque, majestic display of power.

A massive Earth Dragon rose from the soil.

It was terrifyingly lifelike—a hundred zhang of animated earth, complete with scales of slate and claws of bedrock. It coiled around Li Meng, its sheer mass carving deep trenches into the forest floor.

The appearance of the Earth Dragon caused immediate chaos among the cavalry.

The warhorses, sensing the aura of a true flood dragon emanating from the construct, panicked. They reared and neighed, their eyes rolling white with terror. No matter how the elite riders spurred or soothed them, the beasts refused to advance, backing away from the predator made of stone.

Li Meng looked expressionlessly at the general, his voice cutting through the panic.

“General, say no more. Matters have come to this, and further words are useless. If you wish to charge a Foundation Establishment cultivator with mortal bodies… you are welcome to try.”

The general gripped his reins until his knuckles turned white. His expression shifted rapidly.

He had intended to charge. No matter how powerful a mountain-dweller was, could they truly withstand the trampling of a thousand heavy cavalry? But now, looking at the leviathan coiling around the Daoist, awe and fear warred in his eyes.

Is this the power of an Immortal Master?

“Hahaha!”

A loud, mocking laugh shattered the tension.

Yu Li soared into the air, hovering above the mud on a cushion of wind. He looked down at Li Meng with undisguised scorn.

“Fellow Daoist, your Spiritual Power materialization technique is indeed exquisite. Unfortunately, you have encountered me. I am a Late-Stage Foundation Establishment cultivator! How could such petty illusions escape my notice?”

The Earth Dragon was huge, yes. And the dragon aura was pure. But the actual spiritual power fluctuations rippling off it were weak.

A classic Rogue Cultivator trick, Yu Li thought. Big flash, no substance.

This man had the face of a youth and the hair of a sage—a sign he had likely achieved Foundation Establishment in his twilight years, barely scraping by.

“Prince Qi is truly incompetent to hire such a waste,” Yu Li sneered. “Fellow Daoist, since you are courting death, don’t blame me!”

Killing intent flashed in his eyes. He formed a seal.

Whoosh!

A streak of green light shot from his Storage Bag. It was a banner.

“Let me show you what a real treasure is!”

[Item: Green Dragon Banner] [Rank: High-Grade Magical Artifact] [Description: Refined from the essence of a Vine Flood Dragon.]

The banner slammed into the muddy ground. Green light erupted, illuminating the forest.

ROAR!

A dragon’s roar echoed, shaking the raindrops from the leaves. The banner transformed into a twenty-zhang Vine Dragon. It was sleek, fast, and surged with potent wood energy.

Compared to Li Meng’s Earth Dragon, it was tiny. But Yu Li was brimming with confidence.

Size doesn’t matter. Power does.

The Vine Dragon charged, hugging the ground like a green viper.

In the blink of an eye, it closed in.

Just as it prepared to strike, the Earth Dragon moved.

It didn’t sluggishly defend. It pounced.

Like a carp leaping the dragon gate, the massive head of mud and stone snapped forward with terrifying speed. Its maw opened wide—a cave of darkness—and chomped down on the Vine Dragon.

CRUNCH.

Two-colored spiritual light erupted.

There was no contest. The Vine Dragon shattered instantly, dissipating into a violent surge of chaotic energy.

A streak of dim green light tried to escape the Earth Dragon’s mouth, fleeing back toward Yu Li. It was the Green Dragon Banner, reverted to its original form.

“This… this is impossible!”

Yu Li’s pupils contracted to pinpoints.

Wasn’t it an illusion?!

Why did it crush his High-Grade Magical Artifact in one bite? Cold sweat beaded on his forehead. Had he misjudged?

Just then, the Earth Dragon whipped its tail.

WHAP!

The massive tail rose high and swatted the fleeing banner out of the air like a fly.

BOOM!

A shockwave exploded, blasting a crater into the road.

Lying in the mud was the Green Dragon Banner—broken in two. One half was embedded deep in the dirt; the other was a tattered rag, devoid of all spiritual essence.

“NO! MY TREASURE!”

Yu Li let out a miserable wail. He dropped from the sky, landing in the mud with a splash. He fell to his knees beside the crater, weeping openly.

“My treasure… my poor treasure!”

His wails echoed through the dim forest, pathetic and raw.

Unnoticed, the rain had stopped. The clouds parted, revealing a cold full moon.

General Chai Jin stared at the distraught Immortal Master, his mouth agape. The elite officers exchanged confused glances.

It’s just one artifact… are mountain-dwellers this mentally fragile?

Li Meng watched the crying man with speechlessness.

“Are Rogue Cultivators really this poor?” he muttered to himself. A mere High-Grade Magical Artifact caused a Late-Stage Foundation Establishment cultivator to have a mental breakdown?

“I… I’m going to kill you!”

Yu Li’s wails stopped abruptly. He looked up at Li Meng, his eyes red with hatred. “I will avenge my treasure!”

Facing this melodramatic rage, Li Meng fought the urge to roll his eyes.

“Dragon Spirit, kill him.”

He had wasted enough time.

The giant Earth Dragon suddenly collapsed, turning into a pile of lifeless mud. From the debris, a mass of water-blue light shot out.

It transformed into a spinning Water Vortex Blade, screaming through the air with a sound like tearing canvas.

“Want to kill me? Dream on!”

Yu Li slapped a talisman onto his chest. It ignited instantly.

Pop.

Yu Li vanished into thin air.

“Earth Shrinking Talisman?”

Li Meng raised an eyebrow. He hadn’t expected the guy to be a Talisman Master. And that was a Medium-Grade talisman, no less.

He glanced at General Chai Jin, whose expression had turned ugly.

In the next moment, Li Meng also vanished.

The disappearance of both cultivators left the mortal army in stunned silence.

“General… what do we do now?” an officer whispered.

“Immortal Master Yu… ran away.”

“We have numbers! At worst, we perish together!”

“Perish with what?” another officer snapped. “Did you see that dragon? That wasn’t a trick. If we miss this chance, Prince Qi returns to the North, and we are finished.”

“It’s not about wanting to do it,” General Chai Jin said heavily, staring at the empty road. “It’s about capability.”

He didn’t stop their discussion. He just listened to the silence of the forest, realizing the game had changed.

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