The Oldest Disciple: Farming Intimacy to Become Immortal

The Oldest Disciple: Farming Intimacy to Become Immortal

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Synopsis

At 78 years old, with one foot in the grave and zero achievements, Li Meng awakens a System that turns intimacy into immortality.

He has no time for meditation. He has no talent for swordsmanship. But in the infamous Joyous Union Sect, he has the perfect cheat code.

[Ding! System Activated.] [Core Mechanic: Convert physical contact with female cultivators into EXP.]

Holding Hands: +10 EXP.

A Passionate Kiss: +100 EXP.

Dual Cultivation (Going all the way): LEVEL UP!

Realizing his advantage, Li Meng discards his dignity to survive. He adopts the persona of a harmless, benevolent “Grandpa” figure to lower the guards of the sect’s beautiful yet dangerous women.

To the outside world, he is the kind-hearted “Wealth-Scattering Senior Brother.” In reality, he is a cunning old fox hunting for his next source of cultivation.

From the arrogant Senior Aunt to the innocent Junior Sister, Li Meng will help them solve their problems… in exchange for a night of “cultivation.”
Why read this?

Unique MC: An experienced, manipulative old man, not a naive teenager.

System Progression: Clear stats, alchemy mastery, and talisman crafting.

Harem Building: Gotta catch ’em all!

Weak to Strong: Defying death to stand at the apex.

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Chapter 259: The Bronze Mystic Cauldron and the Dowry

One of the greatest miracles in ten thousand years?

Li Meng glanced at Liu Ruyu.

When did Senior Sister learn to flatter?

It was comfortable, admittedly. It made him feel a bit light-headed. But he was a proper man; even if the flattery felt good, he wouldn’t show it on his face. He would only secretly revel in his heart.

“Does Junior Brother have confidence?” Liu Ruyu asked, smiling beside him.

Li Meng narrowed his eyes and stroked his beard.

“The age of the Longevity Fruit is a bit low. High-grade Quality is out of the question, but Mid-grade Quality should be guaranteed.”

Liu Ruyu’s pupils contracted. She froze in place.

Did… did I hear that right?

Seeing her stop, Li Meng paused and turned around. “Why has Senior Sister stopped?”

Liu Ruyu took a deep breath. “It’s… it’s nothing!”

She forced herself to calm down and hurried to catch up. Walking side-by-side down the corridor, she couldn’t help but ask, “Junior Brother Li… you are only at Foundation Establishment. Is there really no possibility of failure?”

Failure?

Li Meng shook his head without hesitation. “Senior Sister, rest assured. I have at least that much confidence. I absolutely will not fail.”

Liu Ruyu fell silent, staring down the hallway.

Master, you were right.

Geniuses defied common sense. Prodigies broke it. But monsters? Their very existence was a miracle. Her Master had recognized Li Meng’s talent long ago, while she was still struggling to comprehend the basics of his genius.

“Junior Brother, we’re here.”

They stopped before a magnificent, gold-inlaid door. Liu Ruyu placed her hand on the frame and pushed.

Creak.

As the heavy door swung open, a wave of scorching heat rushed out, raising the ambient temperature instantly.

Li Meng’s eyes lit up.

The room was spacious, dominated by a massive structure in the center.

A three-zhang-tall Furnace stood there, cast in ancient bronze and etched with golden seal script characters that pulsed with a profound, archaic aura.

“Junior Brother, what do you think?”

They walked up to the Furnace. Li Meng circled it, his gaze locked on the intricate carvings.

To most Alchemists, a furnace was just a tool for fire control. But to Li Meng, this was something else entirely.

[System Scan: Bronze Mystic Cauldron] [Origin: Refined from a bronze pillar of the Ancient Heavenly Court.] [Attribute: Contains a trace of Divine Dao Rhyme.]

“Junior Brother, Master found this in the ruins of an Immortal Palace. It’s an ancient treasure, but the original Dao patterns were worn away, rendering it useless as a Dharma Treasure. Master had a Formation Master inscribe new fire-control arrays to repurpose it as a Furnace.”

Li Meng’s expression turned strange.

Use a divine artifact as a mere stove? That is a reckless waste of heavenly treasure.

Even if the patterns were worn, a true Refiner could restore them.

“No wonder it emits such a peculiar Dao Rhyme,” Li Meng chuckled. “It is indeed an ancient treasure.”

Liu Ruyu looked around, puzzled. “Strange. Why hasn’t Master arrived yet?”

“What? Interested in this cauldron?”

A hoarse voice spoke from right beside them.

Li Meng turned quickly. Liu Ruyan, in her guise as the hunched old woman, had appeared silently.

Li Meng bowed immediately. He noted her disguise with a flicker of curiosity—did Liu Ruyu not know her Master’s true face?—but said nothing.

“Yes, this disciple is very interested in this treasure!”

Liu Ruyan glanced at him. “Honest. You want it?”

“I want it!” Li Meng replied without hesitation.

A faint smile touched Liu Ruyan’s withered lips. She glanced at her disciple.

Seeing the Ancestor’s look, Liu Ruyu stiffened. She knew exactly what was coming. Her cheeks flushed, and she lowered her head shyly.

Liu Ruyan looked back at Li Meng. If this little monster became Ruyu’s Dao Companion, it would only benefit her plans.

“Although Ruyu’s alchemy talent is inferior to yours, her cultivation aptitude is top-tier. If you two become Dao Companions, it would be a beautiful union. You could advance hand-in-hand on the Great Path. If you are willing… this Bronze Mystic Cauldron shall be Ruyu’s dowry.”

“Master!” Liu Ruyu whispered, burying her face in her chest. Couldn’t she have said this when I wasn’t here?!

Li Meng raised his head, his expression strange.

He looked from the embarrassed beauty to the smiling Ancestor. He braced himself and bowed deeply.

“This disciple appreciates the Ancestor’s kind intention. Senior Sister is beautiful—beautiful enough to stir the heart and hard to refuse. However… this disciple already has someone in his heart. If I were to delay Senior Sister Liu for the sake of a cauldron, I would be guilty beyond death.”

He knew his situation. He needed soulmates, lovers, partners in crime. He did not need the shackles of a formal, exclusive Dao Companion. A “one lifetime, one pair” love was beautiful, but it wasn’t for him.

The alchemy room fell silent. The atmosphere turned heavy.

The smile vanished from Liu Ruyan’s face. The shyness drained from Liu Ruyu, replaced by a flash of disappointment and regret.

He… refused?

Seeing the Ancestor’s expression turn cold, Li Meng added with a bitter smile:

“Ancestor, I possess the Five Spirit Roots waste body. The possibility of forming a Golden Core is slim. No matter how good my alchemy is, it is only a hundred years of glory. Even if I survive the Longevity Pill, I gain only another century. To a cultivator, a few hundred years is meaningless.”

Liu Ruyan fell silent.

He wasn’t lying. The Five Spirit Roots curse was a well-known dead end. Finding someone with such a body was rare, but finding one with monstrous talent like Li Meng was one in a billion. Yet, talent couldn’t always overcome destiny.

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