The Oldest Disciple: Farming Intimacy to Become Immortal

The Oldest Disciple: Farming Intimacy to Become Immortal

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Synopsis

At 78 years old, with one foot in the grave and zero achievements, Li Meng awakens a System that turns intimacy into immortality.

He has no time for meditation. He has no talent for swordsmanship. But in the infamous Joyous Union Sect, he has the perfect cheat code.

[Ding! System Activated.] [Core Mechanic: Convert physical contact with female cultivators into EXP.]

Holding Hands: +10 EXP.

A Passionate Kiss: +100 EXP.

Dual Cultivation (Going all the way): LEVEL UP!

Realizing his advantage, Li Meng discards his dignity to survive. He adopts the persona of a harmless, benevolent “Grandpa” figure to lower the guards of the sect’s beautiful yet dangerous women.

To the outside world, he is the kind-hearted “Wealth-Scattering Senior Brother.” In reality, he is a cunning old fox hunting for his next source of cultivation.

From the arrogant Senior Aunt to the innocent Junior Sister, Li Meng will help them solve their problems… in exchange for a night of “cultivation.”
Why read this?

Unique MC: An experienced, manipulative old man, not a naive teenager.

System Progression: Clear stats, alchemy mastery, and talisman crafting.

Harem Building: Gotta catch ’em all!

Weak to Strong: Defying death to stand at the apex.

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Chapter 158: The Ancient Cultivator’s Cave Abode

“After you, Fellow Daoist.” Li Meng narrowed his eyes, stroking his beard with the measured grace of a seasoned sage.

“Let us set off, then,” Lu Zimo agreed with a slight nod.

Li Meng took the lead, riding the wind as he soared into the distance. Lu Zimo followed closely behind. Her pristine white robes fluttered in the rushing air, giving her the ethereal elegance of a descended celestial maiden. Her cool, detached aura was utterly captivating.

“Fellow Daoist Lu,” Li Meng called out over the wind. “Has something happened at Yellow Wind Valley?”

Since she shared his destination, he figured there had to be a specific draw. A flicker of surprise crossed Lu Zimo’s eyes. She cast a puzzled glance at the man flying beside her. He was heading to Yellow Wind Valley, yet he didn’t know the rumors? Dismissing the oddity, she assumed he was merely a thrill-seeker chasing whispers.

Her clear, cool voice cut through the air. “The emergence of an ancient cultivator’s cave abode in the valley is true. However, some with ulterior motives linked the ruin to the legendary Bodhi Tree. That rumor alone was enough to draw the gaze of every major Sect on the Tianlan Continent.”

An ancient cultivator’s cave abode? Li Meng’s eyes lit up. Ancient powerhouses loved claiming massive blessed lands for themselves. Discovering one intact would be a monumental boon for the entire Tianlan Continent.

He studied her flawless, jade-white profile. “Do you know the full story behind this?”

“I know a little,” she replied softly.

Li Meng stared at her expectantly. Meeting his eager gaze, a faint smile finally broke her serene mask. It seemed he truly was in the dark.

“Previously, Yellow Wind Valley was controlled by the Black Mountain Stronghold,” she explained. “They demanded extortionate tolls for entry. This outraged the Rogue Cultivators, who deliberately exaggerated the rumors of the ancient ruin to force the stronghold’s hand and open the valley to the public.”

Li Meng nodded in understanding. The Black Mountain Stronghold was the only human settlement in the Western Desert, acting as the region’s undisputed tyrant. They viewed the sprawling desert as their private backyard. Naturally, upon discovering a ruin on their turf, they wanted to hoard it.

Rogue Cultivators wouldn’t dare challenge them openly, but the major Sects of the Tianlan Continent had no such reservations. To those behemoths, the stronghold was just an ant—one easily crushed by dispatching a few Golden Core elders.

“But hasn’t it been a while since the discovery?” Li Meng asked. “Surely the ruin has been picked clean by now. What is the point of going?”

“It isn’t too late,” Lu Zimo corrected patiently. “It isn’t a traditional cave abode filled with treasures. It consists of a single Enlightenment Stele and seven Enlightenment Platforms.”

Seeing he was still listening intently, she continued, “The Stele holds the legacy of an ancient era, where cultivators prioritized the comprehension of martial intent and the Dao. Gaining even a sliver of insight there would drastically alter a cultivator’s future path. Furthermore, the Stele is sealed. The Restriction only lifts briefly during the hour of extreme Yin on a moonless night. Arriving early or late makes no difference.”

“As for the Enlightenment Platforms, their Restrictions dictate that only Foundation Establishment cultivators may ascend.”

Only Foundation Establishment? Everything clicked into place for Li Meng. No wonder the Western Desert was swarming with them. Aside from Xia Xi’s group on official business, everyone else was hunting for these platforms.

He did a quick mental calculation. The hour of extreme Yin was fast approaching. A moonless night—a celestial phenomenon where the Lunar Star vanishes entirely, occurring only once every three centuries—was imminent. Known as the Ghost Night, it marked the absolute peak of Yin energy.

“If there are only seven platforms, does that mean only seven people can seek enlightenment?” Li Meng suddenly realized the sheer danger of this expedition. The window of opportunity lasted a single night. That was hardly enough time to comprehend the Dao, meaning success depended entirely on monstrous talent and Fated Chance. The bloodbath over those seven seats would be apocalyptic.

“Exactly,” Lu Zimo said. “Securing and defending a platform relies entirely on individual capability.”

She evaluated him silently. Though he was only at the early Foundation Establishment stage, his talisman mastery was formidable. That high-quality, second-grade Spirit Sword Talisman he used earlier proved as much. But holding a platform with just money and talismans would be difficult. Since he had saved her life, she resolved to assist him when the time came. Ultimately, however, defending the seat would fall on his shoulders. Enlightenment required absolute focus; he couldn’t afford distractions.

“With so many Golden Core experts from various Sects infiltrating the desert, won’t they just seize the platforms for their disciples?” Li Meng asked. If Golden Core or even Nascent Soul cultivators intervened, the desert would become a slaughterhouse.

“No,” she shook her head. “Risking the fall of a Golden Core elder just to secure a junior’s Fated Chance is a terrible trade for any Sect. The senior experts will stay out of the ring. However… if a Rogue Cultivator manages to claim a platform, leaving the valley alive afterward might prove difficult.”

Li Meng gave her a sidelong glance. Was she talking about herself? “Do you have a plan to deal with that, Fellow Daoist Lu?”

She turned to him, blinking in confusion. “What do you mean?”

Li Meng sighed inwardly. “You are a Rogue Cultivator.”

Lu Zimo froze. A flash of awkwardness colored her features. She hadn’t fully adapted to her new cover identity yet and had momentarily forgotten herself. She cleared her throat. “Right… Fellow Daoist Li, would you be willing to assist me?”

Staring into her beautiful, pleading eyes, Li Meng was sorely tempted to agree. But his own fake identity made things complicated. What the hell was the Inquiry Sword Sect anyway? He had never heard of it.

“My apologies, Fellow Daoist Lu, but I am not actually a disciple of the Inquiry Sword Sect,” he confessed.

Lu Zimo stared at him calmly. “I know.”

Li Meng stiffened, staring back in bewilderment. When did she figure it out?

Seeing his baffled expression, Lu Zimo bit her lip, forcefully suppressing a laugh. “I made it up. No Sect in their right mind would choose the name ‘Inquiry Sword Sect’.”

Understanding dawned on Li Meng. ‘Inquiring the Sword’ was synonymous with issuing a lethal challenge. A Sect brazen enough to name themselves that would be begging for extermination.

He shook his head with a wry smile. A woman’s heart is truly as deep as the ocean. One careless step, and you fall right into the trap.

 

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