The Oldest Disciple: Farming Intimacy to Become Immortal

The Oldest Disciple: Farming Intimacy to Become Immortal

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Synopsis

At 78 years old, with one foot in the grave and zero achievements, Li Meng awakens a System that turns intimacy into immortality.

He has no time for meditation. He has no talent for swordsmanship. But in the infamous Joyous Union Sect, he has the perfect cheat code.

[Ding! System Activated.] [Core Mechanic: Convert physical contact with female cultivators into EXP.]

Holding Hands: +10 EXP.

A Passionate Kiss: +100 EXP.

Dual Cultivation (Going all the way): LEVEL UP!

Realizing his advantage, Li Meng discards his dignity to survive. He adopts the persona of a harmless, benevolent “Grandpa” figure to lower the guards of the sect’s beautiful yet dangerous women.

To the outside world, he is the kind-hearted “Wealth-Scattering Senior Brother.” In reality, he is a cunning old fox hunting for his next source of cultivation.

From the arrogant Senior Aunt to the innocent Junior Sister, Li Meng will help them solve their problems… in exchange for a night of “cultivation.”
Why read this?

Unique MC: An experienced, manipulative old man, not a naive teenager.

System Progression: Clear stats, alchemy mastery, and talisman crafting.

Harem Building: Gotta catch ’em all!

Weak to Strong: Defying death to stand at the apex.

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Chapter 252: What’s Wrong with Senior Brother Today?

The Martial God Shrine was a sanctuary meant to anchor the Luck of a nation. To act so brazenly within its walls was truly unheard of.

Behind the beaded curtain of the viewing platform, a faint smile graced Liu Ruyan’s lips as she sat by the tea table. She turned her gaze toward the vast, rolling sea of clouds outside the window, her eyes distant.

*If that person back then had possessed the courage of this little fellow, perhaps everything would have been different.*

Would it have changed anything? Liu Ruyan didn’t know. But some truths could only be unearthed through action. Stagnation bred nothing.

Her hoarse voice drifted through the curtain. “The Human Emperor cannot attain longevity. That is the ironclad rule of Buzhou Mountain. The Human Emperor of the State of Zhao dared to refine human elixirs in his pursuit of eternal life. His crimes are unforgivable. He is dead, and rightly so. It was a good kill.”

Outside the curtain, the two listeners exchanged subtle glances.

A small smile tugged at Wen Huanhuan’s lips. She, too, thought it was a brilliant kill. While she might not have dared to execute a mortal emperor herself, she couldn’t help but admire the man who did.

“Senior,” Han Li began, his tone stern, “should we not impose some form of punishment? Junior Nephew Li’s actions were far too reck—” He caught himself. “—free-spirited and unrestrained. If we fail to discipline him, he may invite catastrophe upon himself in the future.”

Wen Huanhuan shot her Senior Brother a sharp glare. Beneath the hem of her robes, her jade-like foot stomped viciously onto his instep.

Han Li’s mouth twitched. He sucked in a sharp breath through his teeth, desperately trying to yank his foot free while maintaining a neutral expression. But his Junior Sister ground her heel down with unyielding force.

He shot her a helpless look. Wen Huanhuan’s eyes blazed with silent fury: *Senior Brother, what are you doing? Junior Nephew Li handled this flawlessly! Why are you throwing stones at him while he’s down?*

Forcing a bitter smile, Han Li swallowed his pain and bowed respectfully toward the curtain. “Junior Nephew Li overstepped in the aftermath. He had no business entangling himself in the power struggles of the State of Zhao’s royal family.”

Panic flared in Wen Huanhuan’s chest. She shot him another withering glare before finally lifting her foot. Bowing deeply toward the curtain, she rushed to Li Meng’s defense.

“Senior, while Junior Nephew Li may appear to have interfered, he merely drove off a few Rogue Cultivators. He never directly seized power. Furthermore, Sheng Zi’er and Sheng Shui’er are disciples of our Joyous Union Sect—his own Junior Sisters. It is only natural that he would assist Prince Qi for their sake. This Junior believes there is no need to blow this out of proportion. The methods may have been unorthodox, but the results speak for themselves. The State of Zhao remains intact, and the royal turmoil will swiftly settle. Surely, this peaceful resolution is far better than allowing two princes to plunge the mortal realm into rivers of blood.”

“Junior Sister, wrong is wrong, and rules are rules,” Han Li countered mercilessly. “If transgressions go unpunished, what purpose do our laws serve? A perfect outcome does not erase the fact that Junior Nephew Li shattered taboo. We cannot simply sweep this under the rug. He must be made to recognize his arrogance, lest he commit an even graver error in the future.”

Wen Huanhuan stared at him, utterly bewildered.

*What is wrong with Senior Brother today?*

He had never been like this. Historically, Han Li couldn’t care less about anything that didn’t directly involve the two of them. Why was he suddenly painting a target on Li Meng’s back?

*Could it be… did he find out about my affair with Li Meng?*

Her heart seized. A flash of guilt and panic danced in her eyes. She had been so careful during her trysts with the young man. There was no way Han Li could know.

Before she could spiral further, Liu Ruyan’s raspy voice echoed from behind the beads.

“Your words hold merit, Han Li. It is rare for you to show such foresight. You may both leave. I will handle the matter of his punishment.”

The two bowed deeply. “Yes, Senior!”

They turned and exited the room. With a soft *click*, Han Li pulled the heavy wooden door shut behind them.

The moment the latch caught, Wen Huanhuan rounded on him, unable to hold her tongue a second longer.

“Senior Brother, what has gotten into you today? And do not dare tell me you spouted all that nonsense for Junior Nephew Li’s own good.”

She glared daggers at him. Having spent decades by his side, she knew exactly how his mind worked.

Han Li didn’t answer immediately. Instead, his eyes darted up and down the empty corridor before shooting her a meaningful, silencing look.

Catching his drift, Wen Huanhuan’s expression tightened. They moved away from the door, walking shoulder-to-shoulder down the long, ornate hallway of the spirit boat.

“Junior Sister, some things simply must be said aloud,” Han Li murmured, his voice barely carrying over the ambient hum of the ship. “In this matter, right and wrong are entirely irrelevant. The Sect does not care who sits on the mortal throne of the State of Zhao, nor do they care how the previous emperor died. The Joyous Union Sect doesn’t care, and neither do the other four Sects. As for the sacred rules of Buzhou Mountain? Do you truly believe they are unbreakable?”

He scoffed softly. “In a backwater like the Tianlan Continent, where no spiritual officials watch from the heavens, no one truly reveres Buzhou Mountain. The ‘rules’ governing the State of Zhao are merely a convenient excuse. The five Sects use Buzhou Mountain’s name to enforce a mutual treaty. It is nothing more than a political understanding.”

Wen Huanhuan walked in silence, digesting his words. Put like that, his logic was unassailable.

Han Li cast a sidelong glance at her, a fleeting smile touching his lips. “What I said in there was half-truth, half-fiction. We have secretly protected Junior Nephew Li’s path for a long time now. You, of all people, should understand his nature. He plays the part of an amiable junior, but in reality, every word he speaks and every move he makes is calculated. He is constantly scrutinizing those around him, always driving toward a hidden purpose.”

Han Li paused, his tone turning appreciative. “His core is good, and frankly, I don’t consider his ruthlessness a flaw. Only a man like that can survive the deceitful, blood-soaked path of Cultivation. However… Junior Nephew Li lacks a fundamental reverence for the rules of this world.”

Realization dawned on Wen Huanhuan’s face. “You want to use Senior Liu to teach him that reverence? To show him the weight of the world’s rules?”

They reached the end of the corridor, stepping out onto the open deck beside the ship’s railing. Leaning against the polished wood, they looked out over the fading sea of clouds. The sun had already dipped below the western horizon, bleeding the vibrant sunset hues from the sky and leaving the clouds in muted twilight.

Han Li’s gaze grew profound. “Junior Sister, do you consider Junior Nephew Li a smart man?”

Wen Huanhuan fell silent under his intense stare.

*Is that brat smart?*

He was brilliant, yes. But sometimes, he acted like an absolute fool. A bold, reckless fool. There was an indescribable, untethered freedom to him, as if nothing in the heavens or the earth could make him feel fear.

A man like that was a paradox of genius and idiocy. Smart, because he saw through the illusions of the world. Foolish, because he saw the danger and leaped anyway.

She gave a slow, light nod.

“Then there is nothing to worry about,” Han Li said softly.

Wen Huanhuan rolled her eyes, shooting him a haughty sidelong glance. “Who cares about that br—about Junior Nephew Li, anyway?”

Han Li didn’t press the issue. He turned back to the horizon, watching the encroaching darkness swallow the sea of clouds.

A flicker of deep melancholy and quiet resignation passed through his eyes. It was he himself who had pushed his Junior Sister away. He was the one who had steered her into Li Meng’s arms. He still didn’t know if it was a masterstroke or a grave mistake.

But the heart could not be forced. She seemed happy now, vibrant and alive in a way she hadn’t been in years.

For him, that was enough.

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