The Oldest Disciple: Farming Intimacy to Become Immortal

The Oldest Disciple: Farming Intimacy to Become Immortal

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Synopsis

At 78 years old, with one foot in the grave and zero achievements, Li Meng awakens a System that turns intimacy into immortality.

He has no time for meditation. He has no talent for swordsmanship. But in the infamous Joyous Union Sect, he has the perfect cheat code.

[Ding! System Activated.] [Core Mechanic: Convert physical contact with female cultivators into EXP.]

Holding Hands: +10 EXP.

A Passionate Kiss: +100 EXP.

Dual Cultivation (Going all the way): LEVEL UP!

Realizing his advantage, Li Meng discards his dignity to survive. He adopts the persona of a harmless, benevolent “Grandpa” figure to lower the guards of the sect’s beautiful yet dangerous women.

To the outside world, he is the kind-hearted “Wealth-Scattering Senior Brother.” In reality, he is a cunning old fox hunting for his next source of cultivation.

From the arrogant Senior Aunt to the innocent Junior Sister, Li Meng will help them solve their problems… in exchange for a night of “cultivation.”
Why read this?

Unique MC: An experienced, manipulative old man, not a naive teenager.

System Progression: Clear stats, alchemy mastery, and talisman crafting.

Harem Building: Gotta catch ’em all!

Weak to Strong: Defying death to stand at the apex.

Chapter 110 Demon Suppression Office

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Chapter 110: Demon Suppression Office

After patrolling Fish Dragon Alley, Chen Erhu returned to the Magistrate Office.

As soon as he stepped through the main gate, he sensed something was off. Before he could even ask, a colleague standing in the courtyard shot him a frantic, meaningful look, gesturing with his eyes towards the main hall.

Moments later, the Magistrate emerged alongside a man dressed entirely in black.

Chen Erhu quickly fell into line beside his colleague, retrieving his staff from the ground. “What’s going on?” he whispered.

“Looks like a Demon Hunter from the Demon Suppression Office,” his colleague murmured back, voice barely audible.

A flicker of surprise crossed Chen Erhu’s eyes.

He had heard of the Demon Suppression Office, of course. Everyone knew the rumors: that their Demon Hunters were mountain-dwelling cultivators, people of immense skill and spiritual power who descended from their secluded peaks solely to eradicate monsters hiding within mortal cities.

“Are there really demons in the West City District?” Chen Erhu whispered, a chill running down his spine.

His colleague rolled his eyes. “It’s clearly a pestilence. What demons? I don’t believe in that nonsense.”

Chen Erhu watched the man in black approach. The stranger was handsome, with a sharp, spirited aura that indeed marked him as someone from “the mountains.” But there was a coldness to him—stoic, detached, almost stone-faced. The Magistrate was chattering incessantly beside him, yet the Demon Hunter’s expression remained as unmoving as a frozen lake.

The two passed by Chen Erhu without a glance. Even after they exited the courtyard, the Magistrate’s booming voice could still be heard echoing down the street.

Not long after, the Magistrate returned alone.

He was an old man, white-haired and withered, but his energy was boundless. He narrowed his eyes, sweeping a stern gaze over the gathered constables.

“Listen up!” he bellowed. “You lot will have to work harder these next few days. Patrol the intersections at night and make sure no one from the West City District breaks quarantine. And keep your wits about you! If you encounter any… unclean things, don’t try to be heroes with your clumsy martial arts. If you bring any of that filth back here, I’ll have you thrown into the West City myself!”

The constables’ faces paled.

Everyone knew the West City was a living hell right now. Being thrown in there was a sentence worse than death.

“Sir, are there really demons?” Chen Erhu couldn’t help but blurt out.

The Magistrate glared at him. “Erhu, you think just because your name has a tiger in it, you’re a king of the mountain? Where would so many demons come from? Stop being jumpy. Even if there were monsters, that’s a job for the immortals of the Demon Suppression Office, not us. Don’t ask questions. Now go, get to your duties!”

The constables scattered.

It’s just a patrol, they told themselves. As long as we don’t go into the West City, we’re fine.

Determined to be alert for the night shift, Chen Erhu went home and slept through the afternoon.

Night fell. A full moon hung high in the sky, casting a silver sheen over Lijiang City.

At first, the city was ablaze with lantern light, mirroring the stars above. But as the hours dragged on, the lights were extinguished one by one, until the streets were swallowed by darkness.

On a deserted street bordering the West City District, silence reigned, broken only by the rhythmic swish-swish of footsteps.

Two figures carrying lanterns emerged from the gloom.

“Erhu, should we call out a few times? You know, let them know we’re here?”

“Call out for what? Do the neighbors need sleep or not?”

“Hehe, I’m just… a bit scared. Shouting might help me stiffen my courage.”

Chen Erhu, lantern in hand, side-eyed his partner.

Li Erniu’s name meant “Two Oxen,” but he was born with the courage of a field mouse. Despite being a constable for over a decade, he would still blush and stammer when faced with a shrewish woman throwing a tantrum. If he saw someone he knew on the street, he’d take a detour just to avoid the social interaction.

“Don’t scare yourself,” Erhu grunted. “There are two of us. What’s there to be afraid of?”

“True, true. Erhu, you’re huge. Even if there is a monster, you could smash it with one punch!”

“Don’t talk nonsense!”

Just then, a black shadow darted out from a roadside courtyard. It shot across the street right in front of them, swift as a phantom, and vanished into the alley opposite.

“Who goes there?!”

Both constables froze. Li Erniu yelped and scrambled behind Chen Erhu’s massive frame.

Chen Erhu roared and gave chase. “Erniu, check the house! See what happened!”

The shadow had vaulted over the wall, meaning the homeowners might be in trouble. Without waiting for a reply, Erhu plunged into the dark alley.

Left alone, Li Erniu shivered, looking around the empty street. He swallowed hard and approached the courtyard gate.

Thump, thump!

The knocking echoed hollowly in the silence. No response.

“Hey! Anyone home? We’re constables from the Magistrate Office! Open up!”

Still nothing. The house sat dark and silent as a tomb.

“Could something have happened?” Li Erniu muttered, his face twitching with indecision.

Should he break in? What if there was a monster inside? Or what if it was just a misunderstanding and he barged into a lady’s bedchamber? He’d lose his badge for sure, maybe even take a beating with the discipline board.

“I… I am Li Erniu! I am a constable!”

Gritting his teeth, he kicked the gate.

Bang!

The wood splintered, and the gate swung open. Li Erniu rushed inside, heart hammering against his ribs. He went straight to the main house and pounded on the door.

Silence.

He checked the side rooms. Nothing. The entire compound was dead quiet.

Meanwhile, in the maze of alleyways.

Chen Erhu sprinted, his breath coming in ragged gasps. He had been chasing the shadow for minutes, but the figure was unnaturally fast. At first, he had seen a thin, gaunt silhouette, but it had vanished into the night like smoke.

“Fast… too fast,” Erhu wheezed, bending over with his hands on his knees. “Is it a night thief?”

He had lost the trail. Searching blindly in the dark was pointless.

Defeated, Chen Erhu turned and jogged back toward the main street.

“Erniu? Erniu, what did you find?”

The courtyard gate stood open. Erhu ran inside and saw the door to the main house was ajar.

A figure was sitting on the threshold, staring blankly into the darkness.

It was Li Erniu.

“Erniu, what’s wrong?”

Erhu walked up and nudged his partner’s shoulder.

Li Erniu didn’t react. Under the slight pressure, he toppled over sideways, hitting the ground with a stiff thud.

“Erniu!”

Chen Erhu’s face drained of color. He dropped to his knees and pulled his friend up.

Li Erniu’s face was deathly white. His body was rigid, muscles locked tight as stone. A stream of drool leaked from the corner of his slack mouth, and his eyes were wide and vacant, as if his mind had been wiped clean.

“Erniu! Erniu, don’t die on me! How am I supposed to explain this to your mother?!”

Chen Erhu bawled, his voice cracking with terror as he shook the stiff, unresponsive body of his friend. The “unclean things” the Magistrate warned about… they were real.

👑 The story continues!

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