The Oldest Disciple: Farming Intimacy to Become Immortal

The Oldest Disciple: Farming Intimacy to Become Immortal

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Synopsis

At 78 years old, with one foot in the grave and zero achievements, Li Meng awakens a System that turns intimacy into immortality.

He has no time for meditation. He has no talent for swordsmanship. But in the infamous Joyous Union Sect, he has the perfect cheat code.

[Ding! System Activated.] [Core Mechanic: Convert physical contact with female cultivators into EXP.]

Holding Hands: +10 EXP.

A Passionate Kiss: +100 EXP.

Dual Cultivation (Going all the way): LEVEL UP!

Realizing his advantage, Li Meng discards his dignity to survive. He adopts the persona of a harmless, benevolent “Grandpa” figure to lower the guards of the sect’s beautiful yet dangerous women.

To the outside world, he is the kind-hearted “Wealth-Scattering Senior Brother.” In reality, he is a cunning old fox hunting for his next source of cultivation.

From the arrogant Senior Aunt to the innocent Junior Sister, Li Meng will help them solve their problems… in exchange for a night of “cultivation.”
Why read this?

Unique MC: An experienced, manipulative old man, not a naive teenager.

System Progression: Clear stats, alchemy mastery, and talisman crafting.

Harem Building: Gotta catch ’em all!

Weak to Strong: Defying death to stand at the apex.

Chapter 165 Senior Wen of the Celestial Room

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Li Meng chuckled and flicked his wrist. Five Spirit Stones traced a glittering arc through the air, landing perfectly in the waiter’s palm.

“Consider that a tip. Ensure my Senior Brothers and Sisters are treated like royalty.”

The waiter caught the stones, his eyes widening at the generous gratuity. “Absolutely, Senior! Leave it to me. I’ll handle everything personally!”

Li Meng turned to his fellow disciples.

“Senior Brothers, Senior Sisters. We will rest here for a few days. The recent battles have been taxing; take this time to stabilize your realms.”

With a casual wave of his hand, the Sword Nurturing Gourd at his waist hummed.

Dozens of porcelain bottles shot out, hovering momentarily before drifting into the hands of each disciple. One bottle per person. No one was left out.

“These are Root Strengthening Pills,” Li Meng said, his tone casual yet authoritative. “Use them to repair your foundations. And don’t worry—I’m not giving these away for free. Consider it an investment. In the future, when you need artifacts refined or pills concocted, I expect you to come to me… and I’ll be charging a premium.”

The disciples exchanged knowing smiles, tucking the bottles into their robes.

They didn’t refuse. They knew how the game was played. By framing it as a transaction, Li Meng saved them the embarrassment of owing a debt they couldn’t repay immediately.

Junior Brother Li… the rumors are true. He doesn’t just do favors; he buys loyalty with style.

His words were pleasant, his generosity overwhelming, and his demeanor impeccable. It was impossible not to like him.

[System: +30 Affection] [System: +150 Sub-profession Experience] [System: +20 Affection] [System: +100 Sub-profession Experience] …

Li Meng glanced at the notifications cascading through his vision.

A faint smile touched his lips. Excellent. Aside from the stoic Lu Zimo and the already-smitten Li Xi, every other Senior Sister had just received a significant boost in affection.

“Stay inside the inn for now,” Li Meng added, his voice lowering. “Don’t wander. Our sect gained the most from the Enlightenment Platforms, and jealousy breeds enemies. Let’s not give them an excuse to start trouble.”

With those final instructions, Li Meng turned and headed toward the stairs, leaving a room full of grateful hearts behind him.

Third Floor. The Celestial Room.

Li Meng stood outside the heavy oak door and twitched his nose.

“Mmm. Senior Wen’s scent.”

A lecherous grin spread across his face. He retrieved the brass key, slid it into the lock, and turned it with a satisfying click.

He pushed the door open, slipped inside, and locked it behind him.

The room was silent, save for the faint rustling of fabric from the inner chamber. As a Golden Core cultivator, Wen Huanhuan had undoubtedly sensed his arrival the moment he stepped onto the floor.

Li Meng walked toward the beaded curtain separating the sitting area from the bedroom. He lifted the beads and peered inside.

Sure enough, a voluptuous figure lay on the bed, her back to the door.

Sleeping in broad daylight? A likely story.

Li Meng smirked. He tiptoed to the bedside, his eyes tracing the dangerous, alluring curves of her waist and hips beneath the silk sheets.

He didn’t hesitate.

With the agility of a thief, Li Meng vaulted onto the bed and wrapped his arms around Wen Huanhuan’s soft, warm body from behind.

“Scram!”

The moment he made contact, Wen Huanhuan’s voice rang out, cold as ice.

She didn’t turn around. She simply flicked her slender jade hand.

Bang!

An invisible force slammed into Li Meng, launching him off the mattress. He hit the floor with a thud but immediately grinned, scrambling to his feet.

He dusted off his robes as if nothing had happened. He unfastened his outer yellow robe, hung it neatly on the rack, and marched right back to the bed.

Wen Huanhuan hadn’t moved. She remained on her side, a statue of icy rejection.

Li Meng climbed back in and wrapped his limbs around her again, burying his face in the crook of her neck. He inhaled greedily, filling his lungs with her intoxicating fragrance.

“Senior, what’s wrong?” he mumbled against her skin, feigning innocence. “Did your Junior Nephew do something to offend you?”

“Hmph!”

Wen Huanhuan snorted. Her hand moved again.

“Get out. I don’t want to see your face.”

Thump!

Li Meng was sent flying a second time, landing on his back with his limbs sprawled like a dead frog.

He groaned, rolling over and standing up. He looked at the woman on the bed with genuine confusion.

What’s with the temper today? This feels… personal.

Undeterred, Li Meng put on his best shameless smile and approached the bed for round three. He crawled up and clamped onto her like an octopus.

“Senior, whatever I did, it’s my fault. A thousand mistakes, ten thousand errors—all mine! But please, don’t ruin your health with anger.”

Wen Huanhuan’s face flushed red, though she kept it hidden from him.

This brat… he really has skin thicker than a city wall. How can someone be this shameless?

“D-Don’t get so handsy!” she stammered, trying to pry his arm off her waist.

“Okay, okay! No handsy!”

Li Meng ignored her protest completely. He exerted a bit of strength and forcibly turned her body over, pinning her so she had to face him.

“Wh… What are you doing?” Wen Huanhuan glared at him, her eyes flashing with a mix of annoyance and fluster.

Li Meng stared down at her. Her hair was messy, her cheeks flushed, and her eyes bright with emotion. She was breathtaking.

“Senior… you are truly beautiful.”

Wen Huanhuan faltered. A trace of shyness flickered in her gaze before she rolled her eyes violently.

Does he think a few compliments will make me forget he wasted his Enlightenment chance? Smooth-talking little bastard.

“Hmph. Slick tongue. I’m not falling for that.”

“But it’s the truth,” Li Meng said, grinning. “Senior is the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.”

Wen Huanhuan glared at him again, trying to maintain her icy facade. “If you have business, speak. If not, get lost. A mere Inner Disciple daring to crawl into a Golden Core Elder’s bed… aren’t you afraid I’ll beat you to death?”

Li Meng reached out and gently took her hand, interlacing his fingers with hers.

“Would Senior really bear to kill me?”

Wen Huanhuan struggled symbolically for a second before giving up. She shot him her fiercest glare yet.

“If it weren’t for the Longevity Pills, I would have slapped you into a meat paste long ago!”

Li Meng’s face fell. He released her hand slowly, looking utterly heartbroken.

“I see… so Senior only tolerates me because I’m a pill dispenser.”

He sighed deeply, a sound filled with melancholy. He climbed off the bed, walked over to the rack, and began putting his yellow robe back on.

“I apologize for overstepping, Senior. Please forgive my rudeness. In the future, this disciple will focus solely on cultivation so he can refine your Longevity Pill as soon as possible.”

On the bed, Wen Huanhuan stared blankly at his back.

What is this brat doing? Why did he stop being shameless all of a sudden?

Li Meng pulled his robe on with agonizing slowness, smoothing out invisible wrinkles, checking the buttons… glancing back at her over his shoulder.

Wen Huanhuan felt a vein throb in her forehead. She fought the urge to strangle him.

You little actor. Who are you putting on this show for?

“Get back here,” she snapped. “Did I say you could leave?”

Li Meng turned, his face the picture of innocent grievance. “But… didn’t Senior tell me to get lost?”

“That was before!” Wen Huanhuan hissed, her face burning. “Now… I want you on the bed.”

The grievance vanished instantly, replaced by a triumphant grin.

“Coming, Senior!”

Li Meng stripped off the robe in record time and dove back onto the mattress.

He settled in beside her, and they lay facing each other in the quiet room. Li Meng’s gaze was scorching, filled with a hunger that made Wen Huanhuan shift uncomfortably.

“Senior… can I hug you?”

Wen Huanhuan glanced at him, bit her lip, and closed her eyes.

Permission granted.

Li Meng smiled. He shuffled closer, wrapping his arms around her soft, yielding body and pulling her flush against him.

Her scent was overwhelming. Her face was inches from his—flawless white jade tinged with the pink of embarrassment. Her red lips were slightly parted.

Desire roared to life in Li Meng’s chest.

It wasn’t calculated. It wasn’t a scheme.

As if possessed by a ghost, he leaned in and pressed his lips against hers.

Contact.

Wen Huanhuan’s eyelids fluttered. Her body went rigid. Her hands clenched into fists against his chest, ready to push him away.

But she didn’t push.

Her fists clenched, then loosened. Clenched… and loosened.

Slowly, her body melted against his. Her hand drifted up, resting gently on his shoulder.

This… this brat only knows how to bully me!

Her face turned a deep, burning crimson, but she didn’t pull away.

👑 The story continues!

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