The Oldest Disciple: Farming Intimacy to Become Immortal

The Oldest Disciple: Farming Intimacy to Become Immortal

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Synopsis

At 78 years old, with one foot in the grave and zero achievements, Li Meng awakens a System that turns intimacy into immortality.

He has no time for meditation. He has no talent for swordsmanship. But in the infamous Joyous Union Sect, he has the perfect cheat code.

[Ding! System Activated.] [Core Mechanic: Convert physical contact with female cultivators into EXP.]

Holding Hands: +10 EXP.

A Passionate Kiss: +100 EXP.

Dual Cultivation (Going all the way): LEVEL UP!

Realizing his advantage, Li Meng discards his dignity to survive. He adopts the persona of a harmless, benevolent “Grandpa” figure to lower the guards of the sect’s beautiful yet dangerous women.

To the outside world, he is the kind-hearted “Wealth-Scattering Senior Brother.” In reality, he is a cunning old fox hunting for his next source of cultivation.

From the arrogant Senior Aunt to the innocent Junior Sister, Li Meng will help them solve their problems… in exchange for a night of “cultivation.”
Why read this?

Unique MC: An experienced, manipulative old man, not a naive teenager.

System Progression: Clear stats, alchemy mastery, and talisman crafting.

Harem Building: Gotta catch ’em all!

Weak to Strong: Defying death to stand at the apex.

Chapter 29 The Bamboo Demon

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Chapter 29: The Bamboo Demon

Only after the Hundred Soul Banner had turned to ash did Li Meng finally feel at ease. He formed a hand seal with both hands and pointed toward the sky. The Lightning Attraction Talisman suspended in the air ignited. In the blink of an eye, it too crumbled into a pile of ashes that drifted slowly to the ground. The dark clouds above the forest dispersed shortly after.

Li Meng walked over to the corpse of the demonic cultivator. He crouched down and pulled the storage pouch from the man’s waist.

“Just a pauper, no wonder he wouldn’t even let an old man like me go!”

A sweep with his Divine Sense into the storage pouch made Li Meng’s face darken. Muttering curses under his breath, he stood up.

This demonic cultivator named Zhou Cheng was even poorer than Li Meng had been when he first ascended the mountain. The Hundred Soul Banner was likely his entire life’s savings. Aside from that, there were only a dozen or so spirit stones and some basic body-strengthening pills. There was also another storage pouch—probably belonging to the cultivator this Zhou Cheng had killed earlier.

“A total loss!”

Wearing a pained expression, Li Meng headed deeper into the forest.

“Must not fight, must not fight!” he mumbled to himself as he walked. Combat was absolutely a losing proposition.

Before long, the dispersed mist closed back in, shrouding the battlefield.

For the next several days, Li Meng wandered aimlessly through the Ghost Mist Forest. He followed the guidance of his Spirit Guiding Talisman in search of spirit plants.

“You useless little thing, look what you’ve led me to!”

Li Meng shot a glare at the talisman. Following its guidance, he had entered a bamboo grove, only to encounter a spirit haunting the place.

About five meters ahead stood a scarecrow—one made of bamboo. That was no scarecrow; it was a Bamboo Demon. Bamboo Demons were guardian spirits of bamboo groves, a type of plant-based spirit. A place like this would definitely not host just one.

Moving with extreme caution, Li Meng began backing away. Mystic Yin Grass couldn’t possibly grow within a bamboo grove; the environment was entirely unsuitable for it. Fortunately, his Stealth Talisman proved effective. He managed to exit the bamboo grove without incident.

“Finally out!”

He turned around, looking back at the bamboo grove with lingering fear. If he had been surrounded by those Bamboo Demons… forget about a minor Qi Condensation cultivator like him; even a Foundation Establishment expert would likely find it difficult to escape alive.

“Unlucky. Does fate decree that Mystic Yin Grass and I shall never meet?”

Feeling rather glum, Li Meng continued deeper into the forest. The Scarlet Forbidden Ground would only remain open for three months. He couldn’t afford to waste too much time in the Ghost Mist Forest.

“Better to travel by sword.”

His aged body leaped upward. A flying sword shot out from his storage pouch. Planting his feet upon it, Li Meng soared above the dense canopy on his sword.

High above the forest, he flew into the distance. The higher you fly, the farther you see. The expanse of the Ghost Mist Forest, shrouded in white mist, lay spread out beneath him.

“Young people… so easily impulsive.”

Flying high indeed granted a far view. Case in point: flashes of spiritual light erupted from the forest to his left front. Clearly, someone was engaged in combat using magical artifacts. Li Meng had no interest in joining such excitement.

Although Li Meng had no interest in joining the excitement, sometimes excitement forces itself upon you.

“Senior Brother! Senior Brother! Save me!”

And just like that, trouble arrived at his doorstep.

A female Outer Disciple of the Qingxu Sect shot out from the Ghost Mist Forest on her flying sword, heading straight for him. Close on her heels from within the mist charged several Vengeful Spirits.

More Demonic Cultivators from the Ghost Spirit Sect?

Li Meng swept a glance over her, a flicker of disappointment in his eyes.

Average looks. Average legs. Average waist. Everything about her was average. What right did such a woman have to demand rescue from others? He was no saintly old do-gooder.

“Do not panic, Junior Sister! This Senior Brother will aid you!”

With one hand forming a seal, Li Meng sent a talisman flying from his waist pouch. The talisman transformed into a streak of golden light that shot toward the Qingxu Outer Disciple and attached itself to her body. Instantly, she was enveloped within a golden light barrier.

The pursuing Vengeful Spirits crashed into the barrier, shrieking as they recoiled and scattered.

“Many thanks for Senior Brother’s assistance!” The Qingxu female cultivator brought her sword to a halt in mid-air before Li Meng and bowed respectfully.

Li Meng chuckled amiably. “We are both of the Righteous Path. How could I stand idly by?”

The Qingxu Outer Disciple lowered her head, her face filled with admiration. “Senior Brother’s righteousness is profound!”

But in that moment as she raised her head again, her expression suddenly turned vicious.

“Die!”

With one hand forming a seal, a black spirit sword shot out from between her brows! It transformed into a black streak shooting straight for Li Meng. Yet in the next instant, that black streak slammed into… her own golden light barrier.

The black spirit sword disintegrated into nothingness. This scene made the Qingxu Outer Disciple’s face freeze in stunned disbelief.

“Ah, young people…”

Li Meng shook his head with an expression of helpless resignation.

“Go!”

He formed another one-handed seal and pointed at her. A golden light shot out from his waist pouch, streaking unerringly toward her.

The Qingxu Outer Disciple’s face paled dramatically. She turned to flee, only to find herself trapped by her own golden light barrier.

“Retract!”

The talisman on her body ignited. The golden barrier dissipated instantly. And in that split second as it vanished, the streak of golden light pierced straight through her skull.

Her eyes rolled back, and she plummeted toward the Ghost Mist Forest below along with her flying sword.

After killing her, the golden spirit sword zipped around Li Meng erratically. He snapped his fingers.

Snap!

With a crisp sound, the seven-foot-long golden spirit sword instantly dissipated. It was merely an Inferior-grade Spirit Sword Talisman—one Li Meng had drawn using talisman paper refined from the lowest quality first-tier demon beast hide. For others, drawing high-quality talismans was an immense challenge. Li Meng operated on an inverted principle: for him, lower-quality talismans were actually harder to draw properly.

A storage pouch appeared in his hand.

“Did she really take me for a fool?”

He smiled faintly and stowed this new pouch away with his own.

“Another pauper.”

Resuming his flight on his sword into the distance, he mused aloud, “Who knows how many Demonic Cultivators have infiltrated that Joyous Union Sect team…”

A flicker of concern for Yuan Baobao’s safety crossed his mind. Although he had given both women some life-preserving talismans, the Demonic Cultivators who had infiltrated their team held identities as fellow disciples. A surprise attack from behind would be nine times out of ten fatal.

“Life and death are matters of fate. I can only hope your destinies are favorable.”

Those who walked the mountain path were inherently heartless. Sixty years on this path had taught Li Meng only one truth: If you do not look out for yourself, Heaven and Earth will conspire against you.

Given his cultivation speed, the gap between him and Yuan Baobao or Chen Lan would only widen further. Before long, both women would become mere passersby in his long life. He would offer them assistance in their cultivation, but he would not invest deep emotion into mere “cauldrons.”

“Senior Brother! Save me!”

A sudden cry for help made Li Meng’s face darken again.

Again?

He followed the sound and looked over… then paused in surprise.

Well now, this Junior Sister’s celestial grace wasn’t half bad this time!

Another Qingxu Sect Outer Disciple…

That waist, those legs, that face—all quite excellent indeed. Her curvaceous figure could truly be described as voluptuous both front and back.

👑 The story continues!

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